Pope's resignation all about Lockerbie cover-up says 'deep throat'

Washington - A cover-up about mad-as-hatter former Pontiff Karol Wojtyla is lying in tatters following the resignation of his German successor and top apologist Pope Joseph Ratzinger.

"No wonder US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta begged Pope Benny-the-Dip to pray for him at an audience in Rome last month," a well-placed Pentagon insider commented this evening.

"They're shitting themselves at what's about to hit the fan."

An immensely successful 25-year PR campaign blaming the Libyans has completely whitewashed that they were little more than 'hired hands'.

According to a top Deep Throat with Pentagon clearance in Cold War stuff saved from the shredder Pope John Paul II ordered the hit soon after seeing the plane's First Class passenger list.

The plot to blow up the US-bound Pan Am flight then moved fast in a bid to destroy vital evidence in the God's Banker case after Opus Dei informers claimed the papers 'were dynamite'.

But a last minute change of plans saw the courier carrying the explosive file cancel his trip after coming down with the flu.

Late last year he handed the new Libyan regime a copy of that evidence in a secret deal to prosecute previously protected double agents.

Expect a whiff of black smoke from St Peter's any day now as Ratzinger bites the bullet to take his secret to the grave.

[For the avoidance of all doubt, the above is a spoof, published yesterday on The Spoof! website.]